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Abortion Stories

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Been There [May. 24th, 2006|02:01 pm]
Abortion Stories

For those in the Twin Cities area (or further if you're willing to drive a ways), there's a new after-abortion community discussion, sharing, and support group I and other community members (including jocelina and kurisuu) have started up: It's called Been There and you can read more about it on our website.

When: 1st Sundays and 3rd Mondays of the month at 6p.m.

Where: YWCA midtown, in their conference room off the lobby
2121 E. Lake Street (right next to the light rail line!)
Minneapolis, MN

The space will be safe and totally non-judgmental. You don't have to feel badly about or regret your abortion, though that's certainly ok too. All emotions are welcome. our rules are here.
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found an interesting article... [Mar. 31st, 2006|10:31 am]
Abortion Stories

the comments, on the other hand, are of the usual assholish Lord Voldemort variety. You know - the ones who want to control the world. I just can't stand that shit - it's okay to think something is wrong, but don't tell me what is right.
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(no subject) [Mar. 11th, 2006|05:53 pm]
Abortion Stories


It's four months today since my D&E procedure.  Despite the fact that I've been fairly consistently bombarded with nasty comments from anti-abortion bigots (on another forum), I'm still convinced I made the right decision.  It's not so much a story of my abortion as it is a story about what it's like to terminate a wanted pregnancy after a prenatal diagnosis shows drastic and fatal abnormalities.
A little bit more about me and my choice.Collapse )

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(no subject) [Feb. 11th, 2006|11:09 pm]
Abortion Stories

[mood |relievedrelieved]

I had my third abortion two weeks ago and I am so relieved.

I posted about my first one here right after I joined before I was a mod.

My second one was in August, a result of mine and my husband's second anniversary, when we were a little too tipsy and a too careless. I knew I wanted to have an abortion the minute I found out. I waited to make the appointment though, so my husband could come to terms with it. He's always known about my first one, and been wonderfully supportive. But he had never had to go through the experience before and I wanted to let him come to terms with it and not be angry. We love kids. We'd have a whole brood if I handled pregnancy better. When I was pregnant with our daughter I was sick all the time and had so many complications that I was on bed rest for the last quarter of my pregnancy. I had more complications during delivery, and almost died if it weren't for the emergency surgery I had to go through 6 hours later to remove the blood clot that was causing me to swell and go into toxic shock. After that we both swore we'd never go through it again. I'm also the major source of income in our family and we'd be devastated financially if I had to go on bed rest for any period of time. I didn't want this.

When we found out we were pregnant again it was a shock. He kept saying "everything happens for a reason" as his way of saying that this pregnancy was "meant" to be. But he saw how scared I was and he was able to look at it rationally and finally said to me "I'd rather have my wife here and whole than put our family through another pregnancy." He'll never know how grateful I am that he understood. I made my appointment at the cheaper of the two private clinics here in town. And it's true you get what you pay for. There was only the doctor and one nurse, and both were so frazzled that the wait was 6 hours. There were no pain killers except a muscle relaxant, and I honestly don't remember which one. My husband came with me to the appointment and tried to make an effort at talking to the other people in the waiting room, because we were all there for the same thing, but no one was really responsive to him. He commented to me later that I was the most comfortable woman there and that when I came out I was happily chatting with the nurse and not hysterical. We both knew we did the right thing.

I found out I was pregnant again at the beginning of January. I had started using the Nuva ring after the second abortion, but like all hormonal birth control I've tried (and I've tried it all, Depo, three types of pills, and now the ring) it made me crazy. Bouts of depression, lashing out, unexplainable anger, horrible migraines, so I stopped taking it. When we found out again, there was no real discussion, I told him I was going to make the appointment and he asked if I wanted him to come. I had to wait until I got paid to make the appointment since my insurance that I pay out the ears for doesn't cover "elective abortions". I think I was more angry about that than anything, sure I was choosing this, but it was either the abortion or 5 months of bedrest and economic devistation. Some "election". That morning our daughter was sick so I had a friend drop me off at my appointment so my husband could stay home with her. There were a few protesters hanging out on the sidewalk, and she honked and waved at them. It was amusing to see their reaction. I signed in and waited. I brought my knitting with me and I thought how ironic it was that I was in the abortion clinic waiting room with knitting needles, and when "Let's get it on" came on over the radio I laughed because, well that's why we were all there. I have an odd sense of humor. This time I chose the second clinic here and I was glad I did. Everyone at the clinic was wonderful. Supportive, understanding, took the time to talk to you, very caring. The ultrasound technician informed me that I was 10.5 weeks along rather than the 6.5 I had calculated. She shrugged it off, telling me that it's common and that I must've had a period while I was pregnant. But it scared me. Another week and I would have had to pay double and in other areas of the country wouldn't have even been able to have the abortion with out traveling out of state (my state is not one of those thankfully). I spent the entire time with the counselor talking about creative ways to get rid of protestors and my job, she wanted to know what a biologist was doing at a construction site. They told me that the doctor doing the procedure that day was flown in from Dallas once a month to help out and that made me sad. When I was done I called my husband to come pick me up and went home and fell asleep.

I'm glad that it's over and am making the first available appointment to get a Paragard put in, I don't want any more surprises. My husband and and I have suffered no ill effects in our marriage like many people trying to scare women out of having abortions will say happens. I'm not ashamed, I'm happy. I'm not being destroyed by some imagined guilt, I'm enjoying being a good parent to my existing child.
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Escorts [Jan. 21st, 2006|10:10 am]
Abortion Stories

[mood |curiouscurious]

I am new to the group and I apologize if this subject has been brought up before. I checked the memories and looked back a bit on the entries.

I was wondering for the clinic escorts in the community: How did you get started?

Did you just show up at the clinic, are you involved with a group that organizes to take turns or with the clinic itself?

I would like to be a bit more pro-active in my beliefs and think this would be a helpful and satisfying way to contribute to the cause.

Thank you in advance.
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(no subject) [Jan. 10th, 2006|04:26 pm]
Abortion Stories

Hello. I just turned 21, and I had a surgical first-trimester abortion on January 7 at the Hope Clinic in Granite City, Illinois.

My appointment was at 8:30 am, but my grandfather chose to accompany me, so he drove and we got there at 7:50. The protestors started harassing us immediately as we went to see if the clinic was open so we could wait inside, and then again as we went back to the car to wait ten minutes. I will say right now that this was the worst emotional part of the whole procedure, and I strongly advise that you wear earplugs if you go to a clinic with protestors, so you aren't tempted to speak to them... or commit assault. They said awful things to my grandfather, who is a better man than any of these horrible people who were shouting.
Read more...Collapse )
Thank you.
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(no subject) [Dec. 30th, 2005|09:21 am]
Abortion Stories

I've given the Info page a little update. No rule changes, just some tweaking and fixing some links. Feel free to offer any suggestions.
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what do patients want from escorts? [Oct. 25th, 2005|09:43 am]
Abortion Stories

Hey everyone - I was wondering if you might help clinic_escorts out with some feedback.

"Clinic escorts" are people who volunteer to stand outside abortion clinics (usually they coordinate with the clinics) and make sure that anti-choice protestors don't assault or block any of the patients. You might have seen escorts when you had an abortion.

My question is, what would you prefer that escorts do? Escorts are usually uncertain about what patients would like from them. They don't know whether a patient would rather be talked to or not, etc. If you fill out the poll here, they could get a better idea. Thanks!

Poll #597874 What would you like from Clinic Escorts?

If I were getting an abortion and there were escorts there to protect me from the protestors, I would like the escorts to....

I wouldn't want to be bothered. I want the escorts to be quiet and just observe to make sure the protestors don't grab me or anything.
I wouldn't want to be talked to, but I want the escorts to walk next to me so I feel safe from the protestors and/or so the protestors can't walk next to me.
I'd like the escorts to chat with me a bit to distract me from the protestors.
I'd like the escorts to talk to me about what the protestors are saying ("that's not true, etc")
I want the escorts to talk back to the protestors (e.g. "leave her alone.")
I'd like the escorts to try to lighten the atmosphere by joking or smiling at me.
other (put in comments)

I would like escorts to... (check all that apply)

walk next to me
be quiet - I'd rather not talk to strangers at such a time
ask if I'm ok
ignore the protestors
talk back to the protestors in my presence
chat with me about non-specific topics
tell me their name
tell me that they are a volunteer
I'd feel more comfortable if the escort told me she'd had an abortion too (if it's true, obviously)
if a protestor starts trying to tell me about something, I'd like the escort to mention that the protestor is lying
use some humor
not use humor
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irritated [Aug. 25th, 2005|04:48 pm]
Abortion Stories

Today I came across yet another smug, self-righteous, pious jerk with the "women who have abortions made poor choices about their sex lives" line. Does he actually KNOW any women who have had abortions? Probably not. Does he want to know? No... why spoil the fun of being an ass by considering facts?

I don't think that anyone can or should judge another person's sexual choices. Sometimes people make choices I wouldn't make. That doesn't mean those choices are "poor."

And what makes a choice "poor"? Who decides? Is it a "poor" choice to EVER have sex if you don't want a child? If you have $5 and want ten kids, is it a "poor" decision to have sex? I met a woman the other day who had 5 kids, the first when she was 15. She was very happy with her life. I had an abortion when I was 21. I'm happy with my life. Which of our choices was "poor"? Any of them? And why would they be poor?

Unplanned pregnancy is not necessarily a bad outcome, sex - even unprotected - is not necessarily a poor choice. It's all about what is best for the person involved. It's their life, their choices, and THEIR BUSINESS. Not anyone else's!

For the record: I have made choices in my life that I consider poor. My abortion was not one of them. The sex that lead to my abortion was not one of them. And anyone who automatically assumes otherwise is ignorant.
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seeking personal comparison [Aug. 8th, 2005|06:45 pm]
Abortion Stories

hey chicas - has anyone here had both a medical and a surgical abortion? Someone on abortioninfo has had a surgical and is now contemplating a medical. She wants to know how the two compare. If you can help her out, that would be cool - either post here and I'll link or join abortioninfo and post there.

Thanks for any help you can give -
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