| Been There |
[May. 24th, 2006|02:01 pm]
|
For those in the Twin Cities area (or further if you're willing to drive a ways), there's a new after-abortion community discussion, sharing, and support group I and other community members (including  jocelina and  kurisuu) have started up: It's called Been There and you can read more about it on our website.
When: 1st Sundays and 3rd Mondays of the month at 6p.m.
Where: YWCA midtown, in their conference room off the lobby
2121 E. Lake Street (right next to the light rail line!)
Minneapolis, MN
The space will be safe and totally non-judgmental. You don't have to feel badly about or regret your abortion, though that's certainly ok too. All emotions are welcome. our rules are here. |
|
|
| Dallas Abortion |
[Apr. 3rd, 2006|11:11 am]
|
I had my first abortion last week at the Fairmonth clinic in Dallas, TX. Everything went fairly smoothly and I never experienced any bleeding or major pain.
So, now for the series of events, as recorded in my journal:
1. By the time I had everything in hand and was in the car driving to the corner gas station, we were a bit late. I still needed to buy Maxi-pads, because I can't use tampons for 1 wk . So, as D put gas in the car, I ran inside and grabbed the first pack of super-mega pads I saw. Then I go to the counter, where to my dismay, my nosy neighbor is waiting to check me out. And then there is no price on the package. And she has to shout across the store "Stay free extra absorbent 36". *embarrass*. I think I mumbled something about needing it when I went to the dr. Of course, why the hell did I say that...it prob just made the situation more akward for both of us!
2. So we're on the road, driving down us77 toward I35. And then we realize we don't have the directions. We turn around and in 5 minutes we're experiencing deja vu...only with directions in hand.
3. Traffic is hell, but god bless the HOV lane! We made it in an hour or less. Its approx 9am when we pull off on Oaklawn. D nervously navigated through traffic and we find ourselves in Uptown/Turtle Creek. This is the area of Dallas that has pretty parks, expensive stores, and costly townhouses/apts/condos. The directions were exact and took us to this very pretty street lined with businesses in old houses/buildings.
4. We drove by once, looking for parking. There were two protesters standing silently in front of the building. There was only street parking and the small sidewalk leading up. There was no avoiding the pro-lifers. So, we parked further down the street (just in case the protesters had ill intentions) and then walked up the block to the clinic.
5. Daniel held my hand as we approached nervously. My eyes didn't veer from the building, straight ahead. The girl approached him and offered literature about *other options*. The poor girl was mousy and mumbly. She looked much more miserable than me. This was the exact thought I had as I stood at the door, waiting to be buzzed in and we made eye contact in the refelection. She mumbled something from the sidewalk about "there are other ways" and in my head I wanted to say the same thing to her.
6. The clinic was like an antique house/dr office combo. They handed me a crap load of paperwork and a styrofome cup labled: TM/AB. We sat down in the waiting room, amongst 5 other couples/people and filled it out. For the first time, I think I read every single word on a doc. before I signed it. Then I found the bathroom to fill up my cup. I don't know how they expected much out of me, seeing that I hadn't had anything to drink prior to midnight!
*btw, the small sunlit bathrooms still had original tiles and hardware in them and would be perfect for saucydwellings. But, that might seem a bit inappropriate.
7. Time went slowly and as people disapeared we migrated from one couch to another. The first lady called me back for a sonagram. She stuck a little corded wand inside of me and confirmed that I was pregnant. 5 weeks. And then I was sent back into the waiting room.
8. Time went even more slowly. I was almost asleep when the counselor called my name. I groggily knodded through her introduction and followed her and her assistant nurse upstairs for counseling. They asked me lots of akward questions: what are your fears? what did you feel when you first found out? etc. I've never talked to a counselor/psychologist/etc. before...so I was a bit akward sharing the intimate details of my initial emotional responses. By the end of the conversation, we had determined that (a) I was prob not going to hemmorage (b) My doctor had been doing this since '72 (c) because I was doing this so early, tissue could be left behind (d) Yes, I could get the Nuva-ring (like I'd planned on getting prior to pregnancy) (e) yes, telling people you plan on studying chinese medicine does make people laugh, initially.
9. We went downstairs and I pried D away from NES roms long enough to pay for the surgery. There was an issue with the credit card, but we fixed it. And then I went back for blood work. The counselor/nurse pricked my finger and filled up a few tubes. She took my blood pressure, which was normal. She commented on my tattoo and how it must have hurt. I told her that it really didnt. And then I went back into the waiting room.
10. I sat back down with D and nervously told him about the discussions, etc. And then I asked him about sugar cane and teasingly accused him of picking sugar cane with migrant workers (*this isnt true). And then they called me back. They sat me in the operating room and told me that the dr would be in soon to talk to me. I sat there for more than 15 minutes, in total silence. And then I started to get nervous again. And then I worried that if I died, my last conversation with D would be me saying, "Haha, you worked in the fields picking sugar cane!". My mind was all over the place--and then the doctor came in.
11. The doctor looked at me and then said that I matched her magenta socks (I was wearing my bright pink jogging/yoga pants with matchign mini-jacket). The doctor was older, with copper earrings and shoes that looked like baseball cleats. She was straight and to the point. She asked a few questions and that was it.
12. Another nurse came in and told me to undress and get on the table, and that she'd start the nitrous oxide (laughing gas). I did and she came back in and hooked me up. It was a bit akward, having someone my own age scooting my naked ass to the edge of a table and lining tools on a shelf underneath it. But, once the gas was on, I didn't care. I took the deepest breaths I could. And then to the sounds of Schumann, I drifted off into a happy, surreal world. I lay there, listening to the nurse preparing the room, while images of cartoonish garden gnomes and vintage cartoon birds swirled around in my head. And then another nurse came in to give my my IV. She had me squeeze a ball and then said, "okay, you'll feel a little prick". And then the 30's-esque cartoon bird in my head cried, "oh no!! A little prick!". And then she said that the catheter fell out and repeated it on the other arm (where the bird once again repeated his cry in my head). I swear to you i was out of it. And it only got better! Via the the catheter, she injected me with about 6 needles. I think it knocked me the fuck out. Because I don't remember her leaving, I don't remember the doctor coming in, I don't really even remember the surgery. I sort of remember someone telling me they were going to give me a shot inside...which I felt slightly. And then I recalled some slight pressure and the clanging of metal instruments. I heard voices talking about something...California? and then when the nurse told me to go ahead and wake up, it was only her and I in the room again. I mumbled something like "that's it?" "its over" " that was fast" "I didn't feel anything".
13. Still in disbelief that it had all taken place so easily, I got dressed as instructed. She told me that even though I had no bleeding, to go ahead and put one of the pads in. This was kind of akward because (a) I was still half asleep (b) I've never used a pad before. They walked me the recovery room, which was a small room with a desk and two couches. There was one other girl in there, crashed out on the couch with an IV. The nurse asked me if I wanted a glass of water and I replied enthusiastically, "yes, please". But, before she could bring it back to me, the sonagram lady had stolen me away again to make sure there was no tissue left behind. She didn't see any.
14. My head had cleared and I sat in the recovery room with a friendly black nurse who showed me the contents of my package: birth control pills, nuva ring, anti-biotics, prescriptions, etc. And then she decided that I was awake enough to be sent on my way.
15. I found D still in the waiting room, playing games on his laptop. I told that it was over and I was fine. And then we left. We were both starving and I was dying of thirst. We drove back to Denton and went to Johnny Carinos. I thought we deserved a big Italian meal after all the stress of the past week. The food was delicious. Water had never felt so good. And then we went home, to sleep. I cuddled up in D's arms and we slept from 3pm or earlier until about 6pm. I woke up with my arms wrapped tightly around him, and our kitties sleeping in between our legs...our sleepy time Totoros!
So here I am at 7:30. I still have some slight soreness. Not quite like cramps. Just general soreness. But nothing too bad. And if I need it, I have a prescription for a Vicadin-Ibuprofen hybrid. There still hasn't been any blood. Aside from the soreness when I stand/move around, I feel like a normal person.
*** |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 11th, 2006|05:53 pm]
|
|
It's four months today since my D&E procedure. Despite the fact that I've been fairly consistently bombarded with nasty comments from anti-abortion bigots (on another forum), I'm still convinced I made the right decision. It's not so much a story of my abortion as it is a story about what it's like to terminate a wanted pregnancy after a prenatal diagnosis shows drastic and fatal abnormalities.
( A little bit more about me and my choice.Collapse ) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|11:09 pm]
|
| [ | mood |
| |  relieved | ] |
I had my third abortion two weeks ago and I am so relieved.
I posted about my first one here right after I joined before I was a mod.
My second one was in August, a result of mine and my husband's second anniversary, when we were a little too tipsy and a too careless. I knew I wanted to have an abortion the minute I found out. I waited to make the appointment though, so my husband could come to terms with it. He's always known about my first one, and been wonderfully supportive. But he had never had to go through the experience before and I wanted to let him come to terms with it and not be angry. We love kids. We'd have a whole brood if I handled pregnancy better. When I was pregnant with our daughter I was sick all the time and had so many complications that I was on bed rest for the last quarter of my pregnancy. I had more complications during delivery, and almost died if it weren't for the emergency surgery I had to go through 6 hours later to remove the blood clot that was causing me to swell and go into toxic shock. After that we both swore we'd never go through it again. I'm also the major source of income in our family and we'd be devastated financially if I had to go on bed rest for any period of time. I didn't want this.
When we found out we were pregnant again it was a shock. He kept saying "everything happens for a reason" as his way of saying that this pregnancy was "meant" to be. But he saw how scared I was and he was able to look at it rationally and finally said to me "I'd rather have my wife here and whole than put our family through another pregnancy." He'll never know how grateful I am that he understood. I made my appointment at the cheaper of the two private clinics here in town. And it's true you get what you pay for. There was only the doctor and one nurse, and both were so frazzled that the wait was 6 hours. There were no pain killers except a muscle relaxant, and I honestly don't remember which one. My husband came with me to the appointment and tried to make an effort at talking to the other people in the waiting room, because we were all there for the same thing, but no one was really responsive to him. He commented to me later that I was the most comfortable woman there and that when I came out I was happily chatting with the nurse and not hysterical. We both knew we did the right thing.
I found out I was pregnant again at the beginning of January. I had started using the Nuva ring after the second abortion, but like all hormonal birth control I've tried (and I've tried it all, Depo, three types of pills, and now the ring) it made me crazy. Bouts of depression, lashing out, unexplainable anger, horrible migraines, so I stopped taking it. When we found out again, there was no real discussion, I told him I was going to make the appointment and he asked if I wanted him to come. I had to wait until I got paid to make the appointment since my insurance that I pay out the ears for doesn't cover "elective abortions". I think I was more angry about that than anything, sure I was choosing this, but it was either the abortion or 5 months of bedrest and economic devistation. Some "election". That morning our daughter was sick so I had a friend drop me off at my appointment so my husband could stay home with her. There were a few protesters hanging out on the sidewalk, and she honked and waved at them. It was amusing to see their reaction. I signed in and waited. I brought my knitting with me and I thought how ironic it was that I was in the abortion clinic waiting room with knitting needles, and when "Let's get it on" came on over the radio I laughed because, well that's why we were all there. I have an odd sense of humor. This time I chose the second clinic here and I was glad I did. Everyone at the clinic was wonderful. Supportive, understanding, took the time to talk to you, very caring. The ultrasound technician informed me that I was 10.5 weeks along rather than the 6.5 I had calculated. She shrugged it off, telling me that it's common and that I must've had a period while I was pregnant. But it scared me. Another week and I would have had to pay double and in other areas of the country wouldn't have even been able to have the abortion with out traveling out of state (my state is not one of those thankfully). I spent the entire time with the counselor talking about creative ways to get rid of protestors and my job, she wanted to know what a biologist was doing at a construction site. They told me that the doctor doing the procedure that day was flown in from Dallas once a month to help out and that made me sad. When I was done I called my husband to come pick me up and went home and fell asleep.
I'm glad that it's over and am making the first available appointment to get a Paragard put in, I don't want any more surprises. My husband and and I have suffered no ill effects in our marriage like many people trying to scare women out of having abortions will say happens. I'm not ashamed, I'm happy. I'm not being destroyed by some imagined guilt, I'm enjoying being a good parent to my existing child. |
|
|
| Escorts |
[Jan. 21st, 2006|10:10 am]
|
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
I am new to the group and I apologize if this subject has been brought up before. I checked the memories and looked back a bit on the entries.
I was wondering for the clinic escorts in the community: How did you get started?
Did you just show up at the clinic, are you involved with a group that organizes to take turns or with the clinic itself?
I would like to be a bit more pro-active in my beliefs and think this would be a helpful and satisfying way to contribute to the cause.
Thank you in advance. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 10th, 2006|04:26 pm]
|
Hello. I just turned 21, and I had a surgical first-trimester abortion on January 7 at the Hope Clinic in Granite City, Illinois.
My appointment was at 8:30 am, but my grandfather chose to accompany me, so he drove and we got there at 7:50. The protestors started harassing us immediately as we went to see if the clinic was open so we could wait inside, and then again as we went back to the car to wait ten minutes. I will say right now that this was the worst emotional part of the whole procedure, and I strongly advise that you wear earplugs if you go to a clinic with protestors, so you aren't tempted to speak to them... or commit assault. They said awful things to my grandfather, who is a better man than any of these horrible people who were shouting.
( Read more...Collapse )
Thank you. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 30th, 2005|09:21 am]
|
|
I've given the Info page a little update. No rule changes, just some tweaking and fixing some links. Feel free to offer any suggestions. |
|
|
| what do patients want from escorts? |
[Oct. 25th, 2005|09:43 am]
|
Hey everyone - I was wondering if you might help  clinic_escorts out with some feedback.
"Clinic escorts" are people who volunteer to stand outside abortion clinics (usually they coordinate with the clinics) and make sure that anti-choice protestors don't assault or block any of the patients. You might have seen escorts when you had an abortion.
My question is, what would you prefer that escorts do? Escorts are usually uncertain about what patients would like from them. They don't know whether a patient would rather be talked to or not, etc. If you fill out the poll here, they could get a better idea. Thanks!
Poll #597874
What would you like from Clinic Escorts?
Open to: Friends, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 17
If I were getting an abortion and there were escorts there to protect me from the protestors, I would like the escorts to....
View Answers
| I wouldn't want to be bothered. I want the escorts to be quiet and just observe to make sure the protestors don't grab me or anything. |
   1 (6.2%) |
| I wouldn't want to be talked to, but I want the escorts to walk next to me so I feel safe from the protestors and/or so the protestors can't walk next to me. |
| 3 (18.8%) |
| I'd like the escorts to chat with me a bit to distract me from the protestors. |
| 5 (31.2%) |
| I'd like the escorts to talk to me about what the protestors are saying ("that's not true, etc") |
| 1 (6.2%) |
| I want the escorts to talk back to the protestors (e.g. "leave her alone.") |
| 1 (6.2%) |
| I'd like the escorts to try to lighten the atmosphere by joking or smiling at me. |
| 4 (25.0%) |
| other (put in comments) |
| 1 (6.2%) |
I would like escorts to... (check all that apply)
View Answers
| walk next to me |
| 1 (5.9%) |
| be quiet - I'd rather not talk to strangers at such a time |
| 0 (0.0%) |
| ask if I'm ok |
| 0 (0.0%) |
| ignore the protestors |
| 0 (0.0%) |
| talk back to the protestors in my presence |
| 0 (0.0%) |
| chat with me about non-specific topics |
| 0 (0.0%) |
| tell me their name |
| 0 (0.0%) |
| tell me that they are a volunteer |
| 0 (0.0%) |
| I'd feel more comfortable if the escort told me she'd had an abortion too (if it's true, obviously) |
| 0 (0.0%) |
| if a protestor starts trying to tell me about something, I'd like the escort to mention that the protestor is lying |
| 0 (0.0%) |
| use some humor |
| 0 (0.0%) |
| not use humor |
| 0 (0.0%) |
|
|
|
| irritated |
[Aug. 25th, 2005|04:48 pm]
|
Today I came across yet another smug, self-righteous, pious jerk with the "women who have abortions made poor choices about their sex lives" line. Does he actually KNOW any women who have had abortions? Probably not. Does he want to know? No... why spoil the fun of being an ass by considering facts?
I don't think that anyone can or should judge another person's sexual choices. Sometimes people make choices I wouldn't make. That doesn't mean those choices are "poor."
And what makes a choice "poor"? Who decides? Is it a "poor" choice to EVER have sex if you don't want a child? If you have $5 and want ten kids, is it a "poor" decision to have sex? I met a woman the other day who had 5 kids, the first when she was 15. She was very happy with her life. I had an abortion when I was 21. I'm happy with my life. Which of our choices was "poor"? Any of them? And why would they be poor?
Unplanned pregnancy is not necessarily a bad outcome, sex - even unprotected - is not necessarily a poor choice. It's all about what is best for the person involved. It's their life, their choices, and THEIR BUSINESS. Not anyone else's!
For the record: I have made choices in my life that I consider poor. My abortion was not one of them. The sex that lead to my abortion was not one of them. And anyone who automatically assumes otherwise is ignorant. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
